How to drink wine in public

It's illegal to drink alcohol in public parks and on beaches in San Diego. As far as you know, Sally and I never violate the law by bringing wine to a park or beach. However, we thought you might like to know how to get away with it just in case you have a certain disregard for the law. 

There are only three things you need to know to get away with drinking wine in public.

Step 1: Choose the right containers

Always keep the evidence out of sight! A wine bottle is a dead giveaway, so you should pour your wine into a water bottle or other container before leaving home. Clear plastic bottles are OK for whites, but you may want something opaque for red wine. If we were to do it ourselves, we'd probably go with a 750 ml steel canteen. Glass is banned from most parks and beaches, so you'll have to leave the wine glasses at home. Go ahead and drink the wine from standard 16 oz Solo cups since they don't impact the flavor too negatively and are pretty generic.

Step 2: Don't look like you are drinking

We see plenty of people get busted for booze in public because they look like they are there to party hearty. If we were to enjoy some wine in the park, hypothetically, we would pack a nice picnic. This would make us look like a couple of responsible adults enjoying a nice picnic rather than two degenerate scofflaws who ought to be investigated.

Step 3: Don't talk about drinking

Some people give themselves away by simply talking too loudly about their illicit activities. Here are a few sample phrases that might get you in trouble if you are illegally drinking in a park or at the beach:

• Damn this wine is good!

• Should we open some more wine?

• I don't know if I should have any more wine since I'm already drunk.

Sally enjoying an unknown beverage